Friday, December 9, 2011

Introducing the Rug Rats--The Boy, pt. 1

THE BOY CHILD (part one)

First, is our son, known on my old blog as "Handsome Man". Well, I think the name is pretty apt. He is one handsome guy. Of course, I have nothing to do with how handsome he is, from a genetic standpoint. He became 'ours' through domestic, open adoption in 2007. His beautiful Birth-mother E., and his handsome Birth-father, M., get all the credit on his good looks. We have a very open relationship with E., and her mom and dad, too. We've had several visits. Unfortunately, thus far we haven't really had much contact with M. He is just not in a place in his life where my husband and I really feel comfortable with Handsome Man having contact. But, time will tell. I guess I am kind of waiting to see if M. reaches out (he has our contact info and he is also still in contact with E.) but eventually we will have to make a move and see if we can establish some more contact. But so far, the relationship with E. and her family has been really comfortable, I only wish we got to see them more often (they live in a different state).

This is a picture of him after his new haircut, this past summer, before he started his first day of school. I love how impish he looks. I was so excited that he was starting school! (Probably more excited than he was!) It had been a long journey to get to this point (and I don't just mean the journey from California to Las Vegas.) When he was 3 (he's 4 now) I had enrolled him in preschool back in California. Let's just say it didn't work out too well. During this time I was also pursuing an evaluation or a diagnosis. I just knew something was 'off'. And considering he had been 'asked to leave' his first daycare at the age of 2, and then at the age of 3 I was getting called in to talk to the teacher after school, like, EVERY day, well...yeah, I figured something was going on. Not to mention I was pretty much brought to tears on a daily basis because I just didn't know how to parent him. We had so many conflicts. I was really scared that either something was really 'wrong' with Handsome, or, something was really 'wrong' with me, and I was just not made to be a mother. I was doubting myself so much and I was so confused and saddened. By October 2010 we had seen a child psychologist who did an evaluation over several visits and concluded that he had ("severe") ADHD along with ODD. The diagnosis was hard, confusing and scary (because I knew nothing about ADHD/ODD or what to do next) but it was also a relief because now I had a real professional tell me I was not crazy, and that raising Handsome was going to take more than your average color-by-numbers parenting.

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