Friday, June 12, 2015

It Doesn't Really Matter Now

My last post was a bit of a rant, I know.

My husband denies any sort of affair. Actually, when I asked him about it he said, "Are *you* having an affair? Because usually it is the person who is cheating who accuses the other person."

This is a typical reaction: To turn something around on me if I ever question him about anything or have an opinion or an emotion that is counter to his.

Which brings me to where I am now:

It doesn't really matter.

If he is or is not seeing someone, or interested in someone...or interested in the idea of someone else, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter either way because our marriage is over and we are past the point of no return. While him having an affair might give me some relief in a strange way of some sort of explanation to why our marriage is doesn't change what is happening.

We will still have to sort out this mess of finances, where we both will live, custody of the children. And the worst of all is having to break our children's hearts by telling them their world-as-they-know-it is about to change forever.

There are some days (like today) when it is all I can do to try and keep it together in front of the kids. It doesn't help that it is summer break and I'm with them 24/7. At least if they were in school I could crawl into my bed for a couple of hours and cry all the tears I want to cry.

1 comment:

  1. The kids' world as they know it is ending, yes, but the new world order will be better for them. You will get through this and you (and they) will be happy again. I hope you have someone in real life to talk about this.